LoVE, lOvE, LOve

Well, hello. I haven't written in some time and it's already the 2nd day of March! Happy March! My motto for March is work less, play more. (Though, work enough to save money to go to Italy :)

I woke this morning to a beautiful and already HOT day. I also awoke to the sound of a bird fluttering its wings. This is fairly usual. The birds like to hang out and flap their wings on my roof, however, this flapping sounded a little bit louder and more frantic than usual. Turns out a bird had somehow managed to get into my house. (Note: this house is built home-made style by my own two hands and hands of others, namely my friend, David. God bless you, wherever you are today!) And so, being a homemade house, there are holes and open areas and places where things don't meet exactly right. But there's no other house like it - I tell you that!)

Anyway, getting back to the bird. It was flying this way and that, around my bed, crashing into my windows. (I have lots of big clear windows.) Poor thing. I opened up everything - doors, windows and it must have somehow found its way out after hitting its poor beak numerous times.

Now, the clouds seem to be rolling in. The horizon is gray and the air is much cooler, gratefully. We desperately need rain and I would do a rain dance if I knew how. But enough about the weather!

What I really want to share is the experience I had last night, late into the glorious star studded blackness. A couple days ago, I received an invitation to attend a ceremony called "Essensual touch." Without going into detail now, I will just say that I initially felt very resistant. My friend needed an R.S.V.P. and so I said I would go. That locked me in because a new and important practice for me is doing what I say I am going to do. As the time approached, however, I got more and more excited. I had no idea what to expect, no idea who was going to be there (except for the friends organizing the meeting) or who I was going to meet. But I knew the night would be magical.

We arrived one-by-one, in pairs, in triads. Each person was greeted by two welcomers. One held a bowl of salt water and the other a bowl of fresh rosemary. One asked to "draw up into your mind the worst self-judgment you have of yourself." As that thought registered, the other person dipped rosemary into the water and as she sprinkled it around the newcomer, she asked that this judgment be released. This set the tone for the evening.

And what an evening - we all gathered in a large white room. The floors were covered in soft padding and bedding with many fluffy pillows. We gathered into a circle and connected. We were led through various exercises to attune ourselves to ourselves and to connect with one another. After about an hour of facilitated movement and exercises, the space was opened up to freeform massage and touch. (This was the part I felt most anxious about.) But, to my wonderful surprise and delight, it was wonderful. I partnered with a lovely man and he massaged my neck, shoulders and back (which I desperately needed) and I worked on him, rubbing away soreness, stiffness and connecting all the while. My hands were worked on, I was tickled lightly, I hugged and cuddled, all with different people at different times. It was spontaneous, precious, human contact that was wholesome, nourishing, yummy wonderfulness.

And what I'm thinking now (as rain spatters on me from my open window) is how needed nights like this are in the world today. We all need to deeply connect with one another but not necessarily at a sexual level. With so much fear and anxiety about the future and the present, connecting with one another at such a soulful place and with such a physical presence somehow makes everything okay. Just to be held, to be cuddled and touched makes all the difference. I touch people everyday in my profession but this night felt different. We were all there with the intention that we were responsible for ourselves in what we gave and what we received. We were there with open hearts and open minds, giving and receiving.

I carry this feeling with me and will hold it throughout the day. It is a feeling and a knowing that we are all so precious and all so full of love. We just sometimes get blocked. And another thought. I carry many judgements, as most of us do. I judge myself, I judge people and situations. I am realizing, however that though I may not be able nor need to stop these judgments, I don't need to act on them. That is a new practice of mine. To have the judgement, to acknowledge it but to not let it stop me from living a full open-hearted life.

To all of you, much love. It's time to dance!