I Want

Here’s the thing:

I want you
and…

I want myself
I want the sky
the moon at night
blazing through the clouds
the hard rain that comes down in sheets
my skin soaked through
water bleeding into bone

I want your mouth
and…

I want my own mouth
words streaming straight from the heart
my throat filled with sunlight
my chest free and breathing easy

I want your hands
and…

I want my own hands
open and dancing
spirals of life curling in them
bursting out and up

I want to curl into you
press against you
arch and rock
I want to thread our limbs together
and lose my end and your beginning

And then

I want to peel myself back
take back all parts
this life
is mine
and mine only
this body
is mine
and mine only


There is
A thin blue stream
flickering inside of me
pulling at the threads
of my life always
turning me around
widening the path
shortening the distance
between me and G-d
This path I must follow
I have strayed from it
many times
in search of love
I will not do that again

I will not give up my heart
will not surrender my voice
will not ignore the willful callings
will not fall asleep on my soul

Divine love is strong inside me now
Flaming heat roaring loud racing towards itself
always
and holding my hand carrying me along

Carry me
heart aflame
burn up untruths
grind down old stories
rip apart worn-out ideas of self
blaze new paths
speed so fast and yell over the wind
free
freely
freedom
this is what it looks like
remember this
remember
remember